By Katie J. Brooks
Not many people are aware of how much impact low self esteem can have on a person's life. Having low self worth can greatly decrease the quality of your life in general--it can stop you from building healthy and happy relationships; it can rob you of a stable and fulfilling career and can put you at risk of developing behavioral and mental illnesses. I personally have experienced some of these consequences; in fact, they were what made me decide to look for a way to improve my self esteem.
Like it or not - first impressions do count. So stand tall and practise good posture. Imagine that you're being pulled by a string going all the way from your toes to the top of your head. And whenever you enter a room, don't walk in almost apologetically. Stride in, make eye contact and be the first to introduce yourself.Get involved in a physical activity - walking, swimming, etc.Any physical exercise like walking, running, dancing, etc. will make you feel better about yourself. Firstly, exercising releases all those good hormones and then your body image will improve the fitter you get.
Get rid of those negative self-beliefs. The negative self-limiting beliefs that are constantly repeating in your head greatly contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or incapacity. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for anyone who wants to raise his self esteem. You could start by paying more attention to everything that it says--be more attentive of all the negative self-talk that is taking place inside your head. Then you can work on making a list of all the unfavourable thoughts that you hear within. After you have identified your destructive self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take each negative thought on your list and counter it with a positive statement together with supporting proof. To provide you with an example, let's use the negative thought, "I cannot do anything well." You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do some things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.
Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".Men's sense of self is more often tied to abilities, they are more into what they can do. Whereas a woman can get a quick boost from a personal compliment, for a man, a compliment about a skill or talent is likely to lead to that same boost quicker. Please don't mistake this to mean that men are not in tune with their inner selves, because many of them are. Many men have gone through the process of exploring the depth of their souls and come to appreciate who they are greatly. For those men, being able to see, appreciate and acknowledge that inner peace and confidence in him can go a long way. Of-course that would in most cases require knowing this person on deeper level and taking time to see those innermost qualities.
Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.
To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.
Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.
If you see negative TV or read a newspapers about murder events and the ugly things of everyday life then you will be cynical and pessimistic. If you read books and listen to positive programs you will absorb and enjoy better vibes every day.Associate yourself with good and positive people. Your self-esteem suffers when you surround yourself with negative people who criticize you or make you feel bad. On the other hand, when you feel accepted and motivated then you feel much better about yourself and your self-esteem grows in a positive environment that makes you feel at ease.Make a list of your personal success. Write down everything you've done that make you feel proud of yourself, this can range from having learned to skate, to graduation from college, having received an award or a promotion at work, successes, reaching a business goal, etc..Read this list often and when you read close your eyes and recreate those feelings of satisfaction and pride you felt when you achieved such success.
Be a Giver. There is an old proverb that says "you only get what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. Make other people feel as confident and worthwhile as you can. By helping to build up confident feelings in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like -- it always works.Practice Forgiveness. Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, they have not forgiven themselves for something in their past. If you're clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are doing it and then forgive yourself completely for whatever it was. Likewise, if there is someone else in your life you need to forgive, make it a point to do so. NOT for their sake -- but for yours. When we forgive, we purify our heart and start anew.
It is true that actions do speak louder than words, but words can also be very powerful. As a therapist, when working with children who were aggressive and getting into fights, I remember teaching them this statement "hands are for helping, not for hurting". They would memorize it and eventually we got to where they would say it either out loud or just think it when they were angry and wanted to hit someone. This technique took time but once mastered had a good success rate. Adults do get into the physical altercations as much but they can be hurtful with their words. Sometimes it is out of anger or just a purely unintentional slip, but once the words are out they cannot be put back in. The best measure is place a filter between the thought and the verbalization.Try this exercise that can be used with anyone in your life. When you get ready to say something take a moment to evaluate the potential impact of the words you are going to say. As you do this you will remind yourself "words are for helping, not for hurting". If you find that the words you were ready to utter are not going to help the person, take a second to find a more positive response before you speak. Use words to empower him. The intent should always be to build him back up, not bring him further down.
Like it or not - first impressions do count. So stand tall and practise good posture. Imagine that you're being pulled by a string going all the way from your toes to the top of your head. And whenever you enter a room, don't walk in almost apologetically. Stride in, make eye contact and be the first to introduce yourself.Get involved in a physical activity - walking, swimming, etc.Any physical exercise like walking, running, dancing, etc. will make you feel better about yourself. Firstly, exercising releases all those good hormones and then your body image will improve the fitter you get.
Get rid of those negative self-beliefs. The negative self-limiting beliefs that are constantly repeating in your head greatly contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or incapacity. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for anyone who wants to raise his self esteem. You could start by paying more attention to everything that it says--be more attentive of all the negative self-talk that is taking place inside your head. Then you can work on making a list of all the unfavourable thoughts that you hear within. After you have identified your destructive self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take each negative thought on your list and counter it with a positive statement together with supporting proof. To provide you with an example, let's use the negative thought, "I cannot do anything well." You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do some things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.
Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".Men's sense of self is more often tied to abilities, they are more into what they can do. Whereas a woman can get a quick boost from a personal compliment, for a man, a compliment about a skill or talent is likely to lead to that same boost quicker. Please don't mistake this to mean that men are not in tune with their inner selves, because many of them are. Many men have gone through the process of exploring the depth of their souls and come to appreciate who they are greatly. For those men, being able to see, appreciate and acknowledge that inner peace and confidence in him can go a long way. Of-course that would in most cases require knowing this person on deeper level and taking time to see those innermost qualities.
Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.
To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.
Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.
If you see negative TV or read a newspapers about murder events and the ugly things of everyday life then you will be cynical and pessimistic. If you read books and listen to positive programs you will absorb and enjoy better vibes every day.Associate yourself with good and positive people. Your self-esteem suffers when you surround yourself with negative people who criticize you or make you feel bad. On the other hand, when you feel accepted and motivated then you feel much better about yourself and your self-esteem grows in a positive environment that makes you feel at ease.Make a list of your personal success. Write down everything you've done that make you feel proud of yourself, this can range from having learned to skate, to graduation from college, having received an award or a promotion at work, successes, reaching a business goal, etc..Read this list often and when you read close your eyes and recreate those feelings of satisfaction and pride you felt when you achieved such success.
Be a Giver. There is an old proverb that says "you only get what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. Make other people feel as confident and worthwhile as you can. By helping to build up confident feelings in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like -- it always works.Practice Forgiveness. Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, they have not forgiven themselves for something in their past. If you're clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are doing it and then forgive yourself completely for whatever it was. Likewise, if there is someone else in your life you need to forgive, make it a point to do so. NOT for their sake -- but for yours. When we forgive, we purify our heart and start anew.
It is true that actions do speak louder than words, but words can also be very powerful. As a therapist, when working with children who were aggressive and getting into fights, I remember teaching them this statement "hands are for helping, not for hurting". They would memorize it and eventually we got to where they would say it either out loud or just think it when they were angry and wanted to hit someone. This technique took time but once mastered had a good success rate. Adults do get into the physical altercations as much but they can be hurtful with their words. Sometimes it is out of anger or just a purely unintentional slip, but once the words are out they cannot be put back in. The best measure is place a filter between the thought and the verbalization.Try this exercise that can be used with anyone in your life. When you get ready to say something take a moment to evaluate the potential impact of the words you are going to say. As you do this you will remind yourself "words are for helping, not for hurting". If you find that the words you were ready to utter are not going to help the person, take a second to find a more positive response before you speak. Use words to empower him. The intent should always be to build him back up, not bring him further down.
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